Friday, January 28, 2011


Dryer: (grinding to a halt and throwing its door open) Well, I solved that problem.
Washer: What problem?
Dryer: The problem of the ugly sweater.
Washer: What ugly sweater, David’s green one?
Dryer: No. There’s nothing ugly about that one. It’s just a little worn, that’s all. I mean Wendy’s really ugly sweater.
Washer: Hmmm. I’m trying to think of which one you mean. She threw the faded purple one out long ago. I only remember washing one of Wendy’s sweaters today, that one with all the geometric shapes on the front.
Dryer: yes. That’s the one.
Washer: Oh, I like that sweater. Gee, I hope I didn’t leave a stain on it. I do that by accident, you know, not on purpose. Then you go and make it worse by setting the stain and I get the blame.
Dryer: Oh for heaven’s sake, not this old fight again. Quit pushing my buttons. Don’t blame me if you can’t do your job. But actually, I never even checked for stains.
Washer: Then what problem did you solve?
Dryer: See for yourself.
Washer: (peering out at the mangled tangled lump of clothes in front of the open dryer door) Hmmm. What a mess you’ve made. Looks to me like you trapped the arm of that sweater in the door and then spun around a million times, winding and winding it around everything else until you’d stretched it out about two feet longer than the left arm. Oh my goodness! Look at that bulge in the middle. I don’t think that can ever be fixed.
Dryer: (sighing contentedly) Me either.
Washer: Wendy will be furious. I’ve seen how she gets when you’ve done this before and I tell you, it isn’t pretty.
Dryer: What are you talking about? Why would she be mad. I did it for her. Now that it can’t be fixed, she won’t have to worry about it any more.
Washer: Worry about what?
Dryer: Worry about whether it’s ugly. Blind people do that, you know. They wonder what’s pretty and what’s ugly.
Washer: (haughtily) Isn’t that a matter of taste?
Dryer: Of course it is. But whose taste? They’ll go to a store and try on a blouse and pants. Whoever sees it will say it goes very nicely, maybe two people will say that. And then later on, somebody will suggest that the match could be better. It’s a problem, a real problem, I tell you. The people in their lives don’t always agree on what looks good and what doesn’t. So then they start looking elsewhere for opinions. They ask Washer, Washer says, “That looks fine.” Then they ask Dryer. Dryer says, “That doesn’t really suit you.” Then they ask Iron, Dishwasher, coffee pot. All the way along it’s the same as with the people. Mixed reaction.
Washer: And so...
Dryer: So this time I solved the problem of a rather controversial sweater. But don’t think I’m letting you off the hook when it comes to stains.

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