I’ve often said that bigger is not necessarily better. I’ve said it about fund-raising events and tomato plants. I’ve said it about the muffins you buy at mall kiosks. So I felt a sense of kinship when the radio show food columnist declared that the biggest pumpkins are not your best choice if your goal is to use them for food. Buy small, she said. There’s not much pulp in a big pumpkin.
Her words came to me just as I was checking the bottom of the pumpkin that sat on our living room lamp table. I tend to check pumpkin bottoms fairly often, having once discovered that a seemingly innocuous pumpkin was secretly storing a disgusting puddle of ooze beneath itself. I check even the healthiest-looking pumpkins, the way you check on the cheeriest babies to prevent a diaper rash.
Our pumpkin bottom was both clean and dry—surprising really. For it was ripe when it arrived, and it had been sitting in the bright sunshine on that lamp table for 25 days. Had it not been such a heavy pumpkin, I might have thought it was mostly empty. But it was heavy, a definite two-handed carrier. It was tall and slightly oval-shaped, with a clean flattish front side for jack-o-lantern carving. It was a great pumpkin for carving, a really great pumpkin. It was also a beautiful pumpkin for display, so, knowing that beauty is sometimes only skin-deep, we promised to forgive it if it started to ooze before Halloween. We just happened to be pushing a really big cart the day we bought it, which made it seem not-quite-so-big, and not-quite-so-heavy.
Halloween came and went without any carving. Priorities for that sort of activity can change without warning. There was a time in our household when pumpkin carving could not possibly be neglected. But the baby of the family, the one who always wanted a pumpkin, doesn’t nag about pumpkins the way he used to, now that he is 24 years old.
So our pumpkin soldiered on. When it’s sojourn on the lamp table extended to 29 days, and still its bottom was dry, I felt we had no choice but to act. This was clearly a pumpkin to be reckoned with. It would not be taken lightly. We would soon need to clear the table space for a poinsettia. So I lugged the great pumpkin over to the kitchen counter, and seized the only thing that could take it on--a great big knife.
Sometimes you can trust the experts, other times—not so much. I’m sure the radio cooking lady thought she was on the right track when she said a big pumpkin doesn’t hold much that is edible. All I can say is, she never saw our pumpkin. The moment the lid came off, we realized that we had been harbouring a monster. Its enormous cavity swarmed with slimy strings strangling clumps of captive seeds. Its peel was thin. Its walls were thick. The lid alone had enough flesh to make a pie.
Realizing that something had to be done, we liberated enough seeds to cover a huge cookie sheet and set them aside to roast. Instinct bade me quit while I was ahead, to make one pie from the lid and send the great pumpkin to the garbage, which is, after all, the place where it would have gone if it had begun to ooze.
Do you ever find that your instinct gets into an arm-wrestling match with your ethics? This is one of those times when it happened to me. Instinct pushed for the garbage. Ethics pushed for preserving the food. “It’s not right to throw away good food,” said Ethics. “This pumpkin is perfectly good. All over the world, even right here in Edmonton, people are hungry. A hungry person wouldn’t throw away a perfectly good pumpkin.”
And so, with Ethics scoring a knock-out, David set about the task of cutting the pumpkin into pieces and putting it on to boil. He used our biggest pot. He used it four times. He took off the peel and mashed the pulp in the food processor. “There are about 20 cups of pulp here,” he said to me. But he was wrong. There were 24, not counting the pulp on my shirt front, the pulp that dripped on the counter, the pulp Pirate ate off the floor, the pulp that clung to the kitchen sink, the pulp that stuck to the pot, or the pulp that filled every crevice on the outer surface of the food processor.
As day wore into night, the monster was gradually subdued. Before ensuring ourselves against a future of pumpkin deprivation by packing up twelve cups of pulp for the freezer, we made three cakes, two pies and a pot of pumpkin soup. We started at 2:00. We were still cleaning up at 10:00.
All my friends said, “What on earth are you going to do with the rest of the pumpkin?” And I will admit to having been a bit concerned at the outset. But things are seldom as hopeless as they first appear to be.
There are options for the pumpkin in our freezer. We could give some away, provided we can find somebody willing to take pumpkin pulp several weeks after Thanksgiving. Or, we can turn to the Internet. The first site that came up in the simple search has 55 recipes. Number 55 is entitled Chunky Cat Barf—For Kids. But the other 54 look promising. That pumpkin will be gong in no time.
1. Teleme, Squash, and Onion Galette
2. Pumpkin Swirl Cake
3. Pumpkin Muffins
4. Tempting Pumpkin Pie
5. Mini Pumpkin Spice Cakes with Orange Glaze
6. Halloween Pumpkin Spice Cookies
7. Pumpkin Pancakes
8. Pumpkin Nut Bread
9. Pumpkin-Spice Muffins
10. Pumpkin Souffle
11. Pumpkin Pie
12. Pumpkin Spice Cake
13. Quick and Easy Pumpkin Pie
14. Pumpkin chocolate chip Muffins
15. Holiday Pumpkin Bread
16. Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars
17. Speedy Squash Soup
18. Butter-Steamed Squash
19. Streusel Topped Pumpkin Pie
20. Hot Mediterranean Squash Dish
21. Pumpkin Bread
22. Pumpkin Cake Roll
23. Pumpkin Cheesecake
24. Pumpkin Pie - sugarfree
25. Pumpkin Cake
26. Pumpkin Bars
27. Rich Chocolate Pumpkin Truffles
28. Light 'n Easy Crustless Pumpkin Pie
29. Spicy Pumpkin Butter
30. Vegetable and Rice Stuffed Pumpkin - vegetarian
31. JO PARODI'S PUMPKIN PARFAIT PIE
32. PUMPKIN CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE GLAZE
33. PUMPKIN RISOTTO
34. RUSSIAN STUFFED PUMPKIN
35. PUMPKIN GINGERSNAP PIE
36. Pumpkin Pecan Pie Bars
37. PUMPKIN SQUARES (LIGHT)
38. COLOMBO DE GIRAUMON (SPICY PUMPKIN)
39. Pumpkin Molasses Cake
40. PUMPKIN MARBLE CHEESECAKE
41. PUMPKIN SCONES
42. KAHLUA MARBLED PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE
43. Pumpkin Pies
44. PUMPKIN AND FRESH GINGER COOKIES
45. Pumpkin Spice Torte
46. OAT BRAN MUESLI
47. PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE
48. Sweet Potato Pie with a three Nut Topping
49. PUMPKIN MERINGUE PIE
50. WOLFGANG PUCK'S PUMPKIN PIE
51. HALF MOON BAY PUMPKIN BREAD
52. Pumpkin Creme Brulee
53. Skillet Squash
54. Meetha Kaddoo (Braised Butternut Squash with Jaggery)
55. Chunky Cat Barf - kids
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