ON RELATIVE IMPORTANCE

So I explained the entire situation to Pirate the dog and he said: ”It’s nice that St. Stephen’s College is giving you an honorary doctorate, and now that I’ve heard you practicing your convocation address I can appreciate the need to practice it a few more times, and I understand fully the importance of responding promptly to your email, and it definitely seems logical to me that you should return calls when messages are left for you. I agree that you should eat a bit to settle your stomach, and it does appear that a nap would be in order, seeing as how you hardly slept last night. But now that I’ve listened to you so patiently, could you please explain why I’m having to wait for my walk?”