Saturday, July 10, 2010


And when the father of the bride rolled out of bed saying, “I’ve had enough sleep for now,” the mother of the bride said, “then turn off the alarm.” The clock said “4:15 AM.” She intended to go back to sleep, and she really might have, had the man not closed the bedroom door before he left, thus compelling her to find out what he was up to—actually down to—in the kitchen below.
He was making the wedding cake. Would you like the recipe?

Open up your Internet browser, go to Kijiji and check to see if the four-tiered wedding cake pans we listed there have sold yet. Buy them if they haven’t. We promise to use the money wisely.
Go to the store and get 2 pounds of butter, 1/4 cup vanilla, 8 large bags of marshmallows and 112 cups of Rice Krispies. Also get a roll of parchment and some scissors. You’ll need the paper to line the pans, and you might want to use some spray for the corners in case the cake sticks there.
Now get a very large cauldron with a source of heat. A backyard hot tub would probably do nicely. This family didn’t have one, and their one large mixing bowl gets a little too hot when you make several batches in rapid succession, which is your only option for this recipe if you don't have a backyard hottub. So they borrowed another mixing bowl from the brother of the bride and used it even though it's a fancy bowl that says "POPCORN" ON THE SIDE. It’s good to get the whole family involved.
(Optional): one small dog willing to cruise the floor and lick up spills.
Melt the butter and then add the marshmallows and stir like crazy.
Add the vanilla and Rice Krispies and stir like crazy.
Put the stuff into a pan, get a spoon, and crunch the whole mass down like crazy.
Now you’re done. If you started some time around 4:30 it will be somewhere around 6:30, MAYBE 7:00. If you have a good wife she’ll clean up the kitchen for you. If not, she’ll be upstairs blogging about it.
Warning: don’t follow the recipe on the Rice Krispies box! The father of the bride never follows recipes exactly, sometimes not even approximately, and he’s one of the world’s best Rice Krispies Squares bakers the world has ever known. .

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